在上一篇"我的小肉團"的文章裡, 原本是打算從他剛出生到現在的照片那樣一張一張跟大家分享, 但實在沒辦法, 小孩真的長好快, 而我po文的速度永遠跟不上進度. 哈哈~
果真人生有了小孩後, 自己的時間就像光速般急速消失. 時間跑到哪裡去了？ 一眨眼小肉球已經五個多月了!
當媽的心情有點複雜, 但日子過得很簡單. 每天日復一日跟著小肉球過著幾乎是規律的生活, 白天每隔四小時親餵拍嗝後再等他便便, 不管有沒有便, 在等的同時我們互相娛樂對方, 互相胡言亂語. 我講我的無意義中文, 他講他的寶寶外星話, 兩人一起消耗體力. 有時唱歌給他聽或放音樂, 有時讓他自己玩或我"玩小孩", 逗得他呵呵笑是我每天最大的喜悅!
看著他的笑容, 聽著他的笑聲時, 我心裡只有"人生很美好"這五個字可以形容. 常常看著他時會想著: 那麼小的身軀卻可以帶給我和外星人無限的幸福與滿足, 這種能力也只有自己的孩子才可以辦到吧!
從他出生後, 除了他以外, 我的人生再也沒有其它的重心. 畫畫從懷孕後就停擺到現在, 雖然想念畫畫的感覺, 但感覺心有餘而力不足. 一方面是沒有足夠的時間, 另一方面也是因為自己無法好好的靜下心, 因為我整顆心總是懸在我兒子身上.
每個照顧小孩的人都知道, 孩子睡覺時就是我們大人自己的時間, 只是扣除料理食物和做家事的時間後, 剩餘的時間不足夠讓我好好坐下來畫畫和寫文章. 對我來說, 畫畫的靈感和寫作的流暢度需要時間培養, 所以我常拿所剩的空檔來做其它事情. 例如: 累了就小睡, 有精神就整理小肉球的照片和更新小肉球的粉絲專頁, 想放空就看影片或綜藝節目, 這些事情都是可以隨時暫停的, 如果小肉球提早醒了或到了喝奶的時間, 我也可以馬上放下手邊的事情去照顧他的需求.
老實說, 每天跟小肉球大眼瞪小眼的我感到很幸福快樂, 但也有哀傷憂鬱的時候. 畢竟人還是需要有自己的時間, 我也想念許多目前無法做的事跟無法見面的人......不過, 人生就是這樣吧, 自己的選擇自己承受. 我選擇身處異鄉默吞思鄉思家人和朋友的寂寞; 我選擇懷孕生子; 我也選擇給予小肉球我的全心全意. 我不想錯過他成長的每分每秒, 因為孩子的成長階段真的很神奇, 幾乎每天都在改變都在進步, 我恨不得自己的眼睛是台照相機!
小肉球的照片和影片超級多, 多到我整理不及, 不過我一有時間和精力就會更新他的粉絲專頁, 如果有興趣的人可以去看看, 連結請點這裡. 部落格主頁的左上方也有連結喔~
我比較少用部落格了, 因為我這人只能應付一到兩個網路平台. 之前勤用痞客時, 我臉書幾乎不用, 現在有時間都拿來更新小肉球的專頁. 會開專頁也是為了在台灣的家人和我老公的家人, 他們常問起小肉球的近況, 每隔兩三天就說要看照片. 我家人有在用臉書, 所以我開了一個公開的臉書帳號, 花了好幾天的時間在設定和上傳小肉球的照片上, 差不多弄好了也給了我公婆網址, 結果他們說看不到... 我問了格友才發現自己白忙一場弄錯啦!
原來粉絲專頁跟個人帳號是不一樣的! 原來要開一個粉絲專頁需要個人帳號才能開! 原來別人要看公開的臉書也是需要登入才可以看到內容......(我知道很白痴, 但請不要唾棄我, 謝謝.)! 搞來搞去終於弄好, 整整花了一個禮拜的時間才弄完我原本要的臉書專頁...@@!
不過我覺得有個專頁還挺方便的, 我只要三五不時更新, 想看的人自己去看, 這樣就沒啥壓力啦. 嘿嘿~
總之, 雖然我目前不常用部落格, 但我還是會努力找時間寫文章分享畫作和心情的. 這種努力不是為了他人, 這是我對自己的一種堅持, 畢竟這裡算是屬於我自己的天地~
How long has it been since I last update this blog? I can't bother to count. All I can say is that time flies faster than light. My baby is now five months old!
He has been my everything since the day he was born. No matter how scared I felt or how hard it was for me to imagine being a parent before he came to my life, now I can barely recall the feeling of not being one.
I love being the mother of my son. He is so lovely! He melt my heart all the time and I wish my eyes can record everything he does and says! It's fun and interesting to see how he explores what's around him with his eyes and hands. It made me wonder about how a baby's mind works... Of course, I got no answer in the end. HAHA~
It's true that when you become a parent, the things you once cared about seem to have less value. All I want to do is to be there for my baby and try my best to “share” what I know with him and to show him how the world is really like. I give him all my time because I know he needs me now, at least for the first few years of his life.
Of course I have moments of loneliness and sadness. I miss doing what I used to do for which I don't have time now. I miss seeing my good friends and family. I miss being carefree. However, I know I have to suck up those feelings, because this is my choice.
I chose to live away from my own country, away from my family and friends. I chose to be a mother, and I choose to give him my whole heart and all my attention. I am amazed by how a baby's growth can be so different every couple of days. There are always changes and improvements in his looks and behaviours. I just don't want to miss any minute of it!
Life with my little meatball is very simple, although I feel complicated being a mom. My days are quite regular. During the day, I breastfeed him every four hours, plus a meal of solid food per day. When he is well fed, we wait for him to burp and poop. Meanwhile, we play or I “play him”; I talk to him or we “talk” to each other; I sing to him or he listens to music.
I LOVE to amuse him! Without a doubt, making him laugh is my greatest joy! His smile and the sound of his laugh remind me about how wonderful life can be. When I look at him, I often think that a body so small is capable of bringing such limitless happiness and satisfaction to us...what an ability to give and what a magical feeling to have! I am overwhelmed by such power and I guess that this can only be done by a child of your own (some people may say it differently, but this is just my personal point of view).
Although I am head over heels for my dear baby, I would still need my own time. Apart from the cooking and other housework, I have a bit of time in between each feeding, but that's not enough to paint or write without being interrupt, so I do something else instead – I nap when I'm tired(not often); I deal with my son's photos and update his fan page on Facebook when I have the energy; I watch TV shows or movies when I want to clear my mind(quite often). I don't mind to be disturbed while I do those things. I can just pause what I was doing and go take care of his needs (when he woke up earlier than he supposed to or when it's time to feed). So far so good.
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Honestly, Facebook annoyed the shit out of me! I use it because most people I know use it, including my family. I was sharing my baby's photos on my own Facebook account (my mom and my sisters are the biggest fans of my son), but Alien's family asked about his news and photos often enough for me to create a public Facebook account for my son. I spent few days trying to set it up (manage the settings and uploading the photos), finally I got it done. I sent the link to my mother-in law, but she said she can't view it. It turned out that a public Facebook account can't be viewed if you don't have a Facebook account. WTF!
She didn't sound like she wanted to open one, So I had to think of another way to share the photos. And then I remember there is a thing called “fan page”(I thought it was more for the celebrity) from Facebook. Everybody can view a fan page, including those who don't use facebook. So I asked a friend about it, because she has one for herself. There went another few days of my precious time for something annoying...what a waste of time!
Anyway, I created a fan page for both of our families. All I have to do is to update his photos and videos from time to time. Whoever is interested can go to his page and check him out. I feel less pressure this way.
If you are interested, here is the link to his fan page - Petit bout de chou.